Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Not the ones for me

.Yesterday I received my first IP (Intended Parent) profile.  I was so excited to get one so soon, but, after reading it, I was a little underwhelmed.  A lot of other surros talk about falling in love with their IPs' profiles, and I just wasn't feeling it.  I don't know if my expectations were too high, but this just didn't seem like my family-to-be.  A big issue is that it seemed like there would be a significant language barrier.  They are an international couple with not great English skills, and I don't know anyone who speaks their language, and that seems like that would be an impediment to the warm, fuzzy relationship we have in my fantasy.  I'm certainly not averse to an international couple, as years of exchange students can attest that we love forming cross-cultural relationships, but I know how frustrating it is to try and convey important information to someone who doesn't quite speak your language, and I don't want to add that to an already complicated situation.  And there were a few other little things about the profile that didn't quite speak to me.

On the other hand, it was hard to say no.  Even if they're not my perfect couple, they still seemed like nice guys who really wanted a child, and I wish I could help everyone.  I hope they find their perfect surro soon.

Also, it's just tempting to get this show on the road.  I know I've hardly even begun the wait, but I know there are waits involved with every little step, and it was so tempting to just hurry up and jump to the next step.  But, knowing me, I would have always doubted it, even if things went mostly smoothly.  I need to trust my instincts and be patient.  I know me, and, as my (current) marriage proves, I know when something is right.  ;-)

So, time to put on my patient panties and get comfy.  :-)


  1. Don't feel bad about not getting goosebumps. I had the same experience. The first profile I was sent... I just wasn't feeling. The second one, I felt more, but I still didn't know what I was really looking for. They sent me a third because I just couldn't be sure, and then I knew #2 was the one. As far as international/non-English goes - follow your gut. Every profile I received was international, because they didn't have anyone waiting at the time who lived in a state that would mesh well with my state. They were not all non-English speaking, but the IP's we chose do not speak English. I was afraid of the language barrier, but it really hasn't been a problem. We communicate via email and Google has a very easy to use, free translator. Throughout the last few months they have been practicing and getting better and better with English. I said I was going to try to re-learn some basic Spanish, but I just plain haven't had time to do it.

  2. I'm there right now; just got my second profile, and it's from the same country, and I'm just not sure if I maybe overestimated my comfort with an international couple. I need some time to consider how important it is to me that my IF(s) can attend OB appointments. I've asked to wait on seeing the profile of a more local family-to-be before I decide. I'm just working really hard at not just accepting because I'm so anxious for the next step of the journey.