Monday, August 20, 2012

East and West meet. And have lunch. And bowl.

Oh, wow, that was a long day. Almost all good, but long. It started at 2:30am when my daughter came into bed, and then again at 4:30 when my son woke up, and continued to sleep off and on until my saint of a husband got out of bed with him at 7:45. At which point I got a wonderous half hour or so of solid sleep before I dragged my butt out of bed to face the million little things that needed to be done before J got here.

J text me at 7:00 to let me know he was on his way, and it's a good 5.5-6 hours from LA here, so I figured that we'd be good if we were all ready by noon, so that's what I was shooting for, with lunch being ready at 1:00. At 11:00ish, I got a call from J, saying something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but I think I'm at your house." Apparently he couldn't sleep last night, so he'd actually left the hotel at 4:30am, and had actually spent almost an hour walking around the park herebefore he finally decided to come over. I was still in my scrubby pajamas that say "Evil Twins" across the boobs, and still had Clorox soaking in the toilets. Nothing cooked or even in the oven yet.  Regardless, we welcomed him with open arms, and I threw Kismet, a natural life of the party, at him to entertain whilst I gathered my wits

It wasn't long before things started to feel more comfortable (to me, at least). I feel like all the worry about communication was wasted energy. I don't think we understood 100% of what each other said, but I think we understood at least 95% of what he said, and I think he understood at least 85% of what we said. He shared with us a lot about his family (he's the youngest and only boy, with 5 older sisters), and Kismet and I subjected him to 5 volumes of our yearly photobooks, which he seemed to enjoy. We were honored to share his first American meal with him, and it wouldn't have occurred to me if he didn't point it out, but this was the first time he had ever used a knife and fork. He talked about S being the one who likes to cook in their house, and how he looks forward to sharing their food with us when we visit them in Shanghai someday. He mentioned S getting his visa, and the both of them coming back for maybe a month in January/February. He told me that last week, this was his dream, and it still felt like he was in a dream.

After lunch, I was sure to give him an out if he wanted to escape our craziness and go nap at his hotel, but he said he was good, so we invited him out bowling. We've never been as a family, and Kismet has been asking to go for a while. There's not much to do in Manteca, so it seemed like a good diversion. On our ride over, we learned something that may have contributed to J getting  here so quickly: when Tony stopped at the stop signs, J asked him why he was stopping so much, and we had to explain the concept of stop signs. :-o Fortunately J had made it here without any incident, and learned an important lesson. :)

We had a good time bowling, and I learned that bowling on game with the kids takes almost exactly an hour. It was especially nice that J, Tony and I were all pretty evenly matched: we're all just a step or two above sucky. :) Tony won, but it was close. Teagun wasn't that impressed with the whole process, but Kismet loved it.

After we got home, J left rather abuptly, and Tony and I were worried that he wasn't feeling well, but he wrote me a very nice email shortly after he got to his hotel, and apparently I was yawning at the bowling alley, and he was worried he was bothering us. I felt bad that he felt that way, and I hope I sufficiently explained that my children make me tired, and that's just the way of life around here. I don't let it interfere with my life. I was bummed he missed out on the brownies I made. And I didn't even get a chance to make the cookies I was going to send with him. Oh, well.

Besides the very straight forward "I'm so happy," my favorite quote from his email yesterday afternoon was (translated from Chinese) "The pleasant atmosphere into your home, I once had the wrong impression--I am at home. Oh, really good." Which I took to mean that he was so comfortable here he felt like he was at home. I hope, anyways. :)

Before he left, he said that they are still hoping to use the same egg donor, he just needs to get his blood test to confirm he's not a CF carrier. So I'm very much looking forward to the end of this week, when he meets with the doctor so that we can really figure out what's going on.

I am extra super excited about helping this man and his partner have a baby. J was amzing with my kids; you could really tell he loves kids, and my kids loved him. Kismet was so bummed when he left, and Teagun wouldn't let me help him with anything while J was here, "No, J do it!" Tony and J got along great, as well. Even my dogs liked him, and they never like new men.

So, yes, a very nice visit. A nice boost after my private little hissy fit regarding the state of things last week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the slim chance that we stick with this egg donor and I could be pregnant before Halloween. :-D

I was so bummed I forgot my camera, but I got a couple of cell phone pics of bowling. I got no good pictures of J at all.  :(


  1. sounds like you had a busy day!!! glad all went well!

  2. I'm behind on my blogs and left you advice about this meeting. I was too late. Glad you had a wonderful time with your IF.