Thursday, August 9, 2012

And the hits keep coming

So, I'm not even sure yet how many steps backwards we took today. According to an email from my agency today, the donor tested positive as a genetic carrier for cystic fibrosis, so they may not use her at all. I told my case manager that yesterday the nurse said it would only require the IF to have further genetic testing, delaying us just a week or two, and my case manager replied that she would confirm with the nurse, but she thinks that even if they would choose to just do genetic testing, that could delay the egg retrieval too much, and the donor needs to done by September 22 (/sigh, how wonderful would that have been? Guaranteed transfer before the end of September?). Did you catch all that? All the ifs, possibilies, and unknowns? Because its all those question marks that have been driving me a little mad today. I was hoping to hear back from my case manager today to fill in some of the blanks for me, but that didn't happen.

So, 3 days ago, as far as I knew, hopeful transfer late October. 2 days ago, transfer mid-late September. Yesterday, transfer late September/early October. Today, no clue. If they have to find a new egg donor, that can add weeks or months to the process. And I've heard that Asian donors are even more rare. So, that really sucks.

I do feel that I need to make 2 things clear. First of all, regardless of the fact that, yes, I am frustrated at the situation, I don't place the blame with anybody. Everybody is doing the best with what information they have at the time, adding the extra struggle of coordinating with people in China, and this was something no one was expecting. And I am glad that our IVF clinic is one of the few that does genetic testing, because there was a brief time when we were worried our daughter had cystic fibrosis, and I did the research, and I would wish that on no parent. Apparently this donor had donated previously, and I just hope those children are well.

Secondly, and most importantly, I know that, in the great scheme of things, this affects me very little. My IFs have put in, I'm sure, a lot of time and effort choosing the egg donor, and now they have to go through it all again. And, most importantly, the egg donor. I've been feeling a lot for her today. I have no idea who she is, I only know that shes been an egg donor before, so she's gone out of her way to help others have children, and now there's the possibility that, should she choose to have children someday (if she doesn't have any already), if her partner is also a CF carrier, they can't have their own children (or, at least, it's not advised). What a tragic irony. :(


  1. Oh, so sorry to hear all this news. It's tough for everyone involved. My second egg donor who I picked tested positive for SMA (spinal muscular atrophy) after donating five other times and having 3(?) positive pregnancies so I couldn't use her. It was hard to get knocked down like that but in the end I found a donor who was a better match for me. Hopefully your IFs will too. Good luck and keep us posted.

  2. Such an emotional roller coaster for everyone. Sure the light at the end of the tunnel is right around the corner, hopefully ;)