Friday, June 8, 2012

Surro Stasis

Oh technology, how I despise you. Very occasionally. Went to bed early last night so I could finish up my blog entry on my phone in bed before I went to sleep.  Spent 15-20 minutes Swyping out my thoughts, and literally two sentences from the end, the app crashed and I lost it all. Doh! :-/

Anyway, right now, officially nothing is going on. Despite the efforts of my agency, the IVF office will not see me until they've had their consultation with my IPs, so no med or psych screenings for me until July. And we can't even start work on the contracts, because I have to be cleared medically before we do that. So a whole long month of the wait portion of "Hurry up and wait."

A long month of me and my busy brain. While nothing is going on, I have the time to second guess myself (not unique to this situation). "Should I have gone with another agency?" "Did I choose the wrong IPs?" Blah, blah, idle minds and such.

I know it's still really early, but I'm not feeling as close to my IPs as I'd like at this point. I was really hoping for a whirlwind of emails at the beginning, because we're all so excited about forming this new relationship, which is what usually happens when you first get the email address of your new exchange student. But right now, J seems to be content with 1 email a week, and I haven't heard from S at all. It's ironic that I'm uncomfortable with just one email a week, because usually I'm actually a terrible correspondent. But I'm just so excited about this current situation that I want to learn all about them, and want them to feel the same.

Besides just wanting to be making forward momentum, the only other reason I want to get this show on the road ASAP is that I hope to be significantly enough postpartum by August 2013 to celebrate my favorite German's 18th birthday on his soil. Also, I don't want to be huge and preggo when it starts getting crazy hot around here.

But, for now, it seems that there's nothing for me to do but sit around and polish my patience. Actually, I hope to not be doing a lot of sitting around; I really and truly mean to take this opportunity to lose those last few pounds that have been plaguing me. Before I can start blaming my weight gain on hormone shots and, ultimately, pregnancy. Before my first was born, I was a very healthy 147. I was child-free, and was running or gymming almost everyday, had time to make healthy meals everyday and hadn't discovered my love of baking yet (that's a very important part). Before my second was born, I had actually gotten down to 137, mostly because my breastfeeding daughter was allergic to a bunch of stuff her first year, so my diet was very limited. But the only cardio I was doing was chasing around a toddler. Now my weight has crept up to 152, which means that all of my shorts, even the ones that were loose before, are feeling tight, and I don't want to give myself a longer weight loss road after the pregnancy than absolutely necessary. So it's back to the gym (Love the kids' club!) and avoiding baking whenever possible. I have come to terms with the fact that I'll never have a bikini body (without surgical intervention), but I do have the ability to be comfortable in my clothes (with a little (lot) of willpower).

I hope that, while I'm doing that, J and S are finding an egg donor so that things can move as smoothly as possible once July rolls around.


  1. Hi Tiffany,

    I am a PhD student in Paris, France and I do a research on surrogates. I wondered if you might be interested to participate in my study? it is anonymous. I would send you 3 questionnaires which you can fill on your computer and send back to me.

    Hope you will be interested!

    Take care with everything,

    Ellen Lorenceau

  2. I felt the same way about the contact with my IP's in the beginning! I was so excited to get to know them, hear their story etc.. But we rarely talked :(
    Come to find out the reason behind their low existence was because they had been thru so much and just weren't ready to start bonding until all paperwork was in order and things started rolling, in event of failure. Made complete sense to me. So maybe they are just waiting for all clearances??