Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Chilling out max

I let my case manager have a whole week off from my annoying emails last week (I generally try and keep them to once a week unless I have something relevant to say), and waited until Monday to ask for an update. So, on my behalf, she bothered the lawyers for news and they said the contract was sent to my IFs last week, and once they approve it, it comes to me. Yay!

Getting this information made me come to terms with the fact, which has been apparent for sometime, but I've been refusing to see, that we won't be transferring in 3 weeks. And I was a little bummed about that. But then I thought about it, and realized there is really no reason to be bummed. That was just an arbitrary date I had chosen on the "Get Tiffany Knocked Up ASAP" timeline. This timeline had been in place with the idea, originally, way back in March, that I would complete my first surrogacy in time to celebrate our host son's birthday with him in August 2013. With every delay along my whole journey, that has become less and less likely, and became an impossibility around the time I switched agencies. But I have been having a hard time letting go of the idea and the associated sense of urgency. Until last night. During one of my many awake hours laying in bed, I realized that I don't *need* for this to happen right this very second. Of course, the sooner the better, and I'm a little bummed I won't be giving B&C a positive pregnancy test for Christmas, but I don't need to stress about a timeline right now. As a matter of fact, transfer after Christmas would be better, because we're going to Disneyland the first week of January and I love me some Space Mountain. :-)  So, for the first time in this very long process, I'm going to not worry about how fast things are moving. As long as they're moving. :-P

Also on Monday, I was thinking, casually, I hadn't heard from my IFs last week, and then I saw C liked my new family pictures on the Facebook, and I was thinking, that was nice, and that's good enough for me, a friendly, casual relationship. And then he commented. :-)  And then he texted to wish us a preemptive happy Thanksgiving, and we got into a discussion regarding Black Friday. I know the relationship is in its infancy, and things will be different once we really get going, but I am just so happy with what we've got going so far. Even though things aren't moving as quickly as I thought they would (which is no longer a big deal, see above), I still feel like this is definitely the family I should be working with. Heck, I would have been content with the like on Facebook. I'm easy (as evidenced by the fact that no one will know who the father of my next baby will be). ;-)

And it's late now, and I'm rambling, and there's cranberries to make tomorrow. :-)  Wishing all of my American friends a happy and hearty Thanksgiving tomorrow!

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