Sunday, October 28, 2012

MMMM (My Magical Match Meeting)

Ah, Sunday, the day of rest. For reals and for trues today. Firmly planted on the couch for the time being, and I hope only to make it as far as around the block if the kids want to go on a bike ride. A big agenda of blogging, story reading, dish washing, and lawn mowing, for the most part. :-D

So, back to our little trip down to LA...Tony and I flew out Thursday night, making to the (very nice) hotel just in time to go to sleep. Despite the comfy bed, we both slept poorly (Nerves? The fact the I forgot my pillow for, like, the first time ever?), but jumped out of bed at 6:30 to make sure we had plenty of time to get to the agency offices in Friday morning traffic.

We were downstairs just before 7:00 to meet the taxi I had ordered for a 7:00 pick-up Thursday night. Which wasn't there. At 7:10, it still wasn't there. I called them again, and they tried telling me that my taxi voucher number wasn't valid. If that was why they didn't send a taxi, it would have been nice if someone called to let me know that was going on. Some other random taxi was there, and he told me the voucher was just fine with him. It made me nervous, since I know nothing about taxis and vouchers and all that, but he insisted it was fine, the woman on the phone from the taxi company seemed to have no interest in sending us a cab, and I was anxious to get going, so we hopped in.

The ride to downtown LA was mostly unremarkable. We arrived early, which was a unfamiliar situation for us. :) But that did mean that we got to wait in the meeting room on the comfy couch and anxiously exchange glances every time we heard the office doorbell ring.

Everyone arrived, and the psychologist talked with us very briefly before B & C came in and the official meeting started. The psychologist directed the conversation, and it all went pretty much exactly as perfect as I could have hoped. It was the amazing match meeting that everyone says they have that I used to be so jealous of. I loved them, and especially loved hearing about their son (just a month older than Teagun!) and the level of communication they said they are interested in. They talked about casual texting with their last surro, and checking in at least every few days, and being open to hearing any little complaints and comments I want to share. And that is exactly what I've been looking forward to! Feeling like a valued member of a close knit team, and sharing all the little highs and lows of pregnancy in real time. That is so important to me. The only thing we don't see eye-to-eye on is having an amnio (they want one, I'd prefer not to), but I would absolutely do it if it's something that's important to them, as it's not a deal breaker for me. However, I will admit that I hope that the new MaterniT21 test will dissuade them, as it's supposed to be significantly less invasive, posing no risk of miscarriage, and significantly more accurate (0.2% false positive versus 5% with amnio). :)

After the official meeting, we headed over to IHOP to just hang out for a bit. Despite my general "distaste" for breakfast, Tony and I split a crepe meal, and it was quite yummy and just the right amount of food to tide me over until lunch. We all talked for a good long while until B & C had to run to catch their plane. I guess it's a great indicator of what an amazing time I was having, because I have no idea how long the whole encounter lasted, and that's saying something, coming from somebody who constantly needs to know what time it is. I didn't check my phone once (I don't think). I so enjoyed talking to them, hearing about their lives and their activism and their son. B gave me his card so we didn't have to wait for the agency to share our contact info, and we split with hugs and in mutual agreement that we're all really excited about this match.

I wish that we had had more time, but I totally understand that they want to get back home to their son, and I can't wait to meet the little guy I'm going to help make a big brother. I kept thinking of all the things I forgot to ask, but I keep reminding myself that we now have phone and texting and email, etc. to continue to get to know each other. We've already started exchanging little texts. :)

I was a little thrown when they asked about my blog, as I had forgot I had mentioned wanting to keep one in my application. I had fully planned on telling them about it, and having them read it throughout our journey if that was something they were interested in, but it just wasn't something that was on my radar Friday morning, so I was a little surprised when they brought it up. Officially, I'm thrilled they're interested, and that was always a goal of this blog, when the time rolled around, for my IPs to be able to follow along with everything pregnancy. But after I shared the link with them, I have to admit, I got a little nervous. Primarily regarding all of the stuff that went on with my previous IPs. Would/will B & C think I was a flake or a bad person for discontinuing that relationship? I hope not, but I can't change what happened. It was a very hard decision for me to make, but I ultimately think it was the right one, especially since it led me here. And I certainly don't want to hide anything from them, and I think this is the best way for them to fully understand the situation. I think the only real mistake I made there was agreeing to the match in the first place. When my old agency presented the couple, I felt like this was their last ditch effort at keeping me with them, and (my own doing, not their's, at all) I felt a little backed into a corner. They were trying so hard to make this work, I felt I should too, even though I always had little doubts that I kept trying to ignore, trying to talk myself into that being the match I wanted. And that part was my fault, and that part I regret. I never should have tried to force it, and I am very sorry that my actions hurt J & S in the end. I still feel bad about that. But now is about onwards and upwards, and there are no doubts, quiet or otherwise, here.

So, tomorrow, the legal department should be getting the word to expedite the contracts, and the psychologist said we could see those as early as this week! (I'll believe it when I see it, but, still, EEE!!!) And once they have our signed contracts back, the doctor can start making up a calendar for when I can start meds (double EEE!!!)! She (the psych) estimated we could be good to go with their 28 (!) frozen embryos in as soon as 6 weeks! Happy birthday to me!!!


  1. I'm happy that your match meeting went well! You can get a good vibe of each others personalities in that first meeting, which is nice to have. Hmm, I have thought about telling my IM that I blog...but haven't yet. Although I keep everything very confidential, not exposing who she is in any way, I just don't know if I'm ready for her to read it. Or what her reaction would be to me doing it. Legal contracts, meds, calendars, oh my! You're in for some more waiting and eventually the exciting part will come! I hope it all goes quickly and smoothly for you. :)

  2. That sounds amazing! I'm so glad things are going smoothly!

  3. So exciting! And if you both barrel through contracts you'll be knocked up with their baby/ies in no time! You SO deserve this to go smoothly and quickly. I cant wait to follow along!! Xo

  4. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I know how much you agonized about your decision with the previous IPs. It was not something you took lightly and you explained your reasons clearly. I think anyone can understand where you were coming from when you made that tough decision.

    And 28 embryos??? Wow. Don't become an octo-mom!