6 Weeks and everything else

Oh my goodness, I meant to be on here several times earlier in the week to blog, with lots of relevant, important things to say, but I just never made it. Even throughout today, I was interrupted several times. Fever, vomiting, diarrhea (everyone else in the house but me, strangely enough)...it's been an all around fun time around here. :-D

First and foremost, our second beta was on Monday. 3914! Doubling time of about 1.65 days! At first I thought that was extra high, possibly indicating twins. But Google tells me it's a good solid number, probably indicating one healthy Baby. But numbers don't necessarily directly correlate. We won't know for sure until our ultrasound. Which *should* be this Friday. But that's a little iffy right now. Everyone is working hard to find a good place for me to get that done, but apparently it's not as easy as requisitioning the nearest ultrasound machine. We might be getting it done in San Francisco. Possibly.

Or we may be getting it at our new OB's office. Normally, we wouldn't be seeing our OB for the first visit until closer to 10 weeks, but because we've been having such a hard time finding a good local place for the ultrasounds, it's been agreed the earlier I can get hooked up with my local OB, the better. So we've got an appointment with our new OB on Wednesday. If we're super duper lucky, maybe they'll do the ultrasound there and then.

In other surro-related news, I had my worst shot experience ever Friday night. It was a 2-shot day, so estrogen in addition to the progesterone. Shots usually range from "That's it?" to "Ouch! That hurt." Estrogen shots are usually a little easier, in general, because there's less volume, so I, at least, imagine they are quicker. This particular estrogen shot was hellish. From beginning to end, which seemed to take extra forever, it burned like a wicked sumabitch. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. And it continued to hurt afterwards, which is unusual. I had to lay on that side to put pressure on it just to sleep, and it still hurts more that it should, 2 days later, which means this might be the 3rd day of progesterone on the left side, when we usually alternate. My best guess is that we nicked a blood vessel on the way in, because it bled a lot more than usual. And last night's shot was, blessedly, one of the "That's it?" types.

And, finally, we are 6 weeks today! Yay! Kismet and I decided to nickname the Baby, for the time being, "Little Pumpkin" (she needed something to call the Baby) because this Little Pumpkin will be making his/her appearance in the world around the same time as pumpkins start being harvested around here. Anyway, Little Pumpkin's ears, nose and mouth are beginning to develop and blood will start to course through Pumpkin's body. Arm and leg buds are beginning to show and lungs are beginning to develop. This week, Pumpkin will double in size, but is currently the size of a lentil.

I am feeling mostly fine. Still the tiniest bit of nausea in the evening, and generally tired and cranky, but poor sleep thanks to my little man is almost certainly a contributing factor. Otherwise Pumpkin has been very good to me. Oh, I did immensely enjoy a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, which I've never been a big fan of. But breakfast cereal is a big winner for me when I'm pregnant. It was Lucky Charms with Teagun, but those I've always loved. :)

Here's hoping my next entry brings news of our ultrasound!

5 Weeks!

That's right, once we get that positive pregnancy test, we jump right into being pregnant, and today marks 5 weeks along. Baby is currently the approximate size of a sesame seed. Baby is super busy in this next week, developing eyes, tongue, skin and brain, and the heart is beginning to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood. A tiny little sesame seed, pumping blood! :-D How cute!

Despite being a little sesame seed, this Baby is making me feel full all the time, except when I'm starving. Those are the 2 states I have: uncomfortably full and freakin' starving. And the latter half of the days are spent with a very bubbly tummy. If this keeps up, I'll never know when the Baby starts moving because it feels like I've got a whole soccer team in there right now. I only get nauseous, mildly, on occasion, and I'm looking forward to stocking up on grapes to help ease that when necessary. And, I am, of course, tired. So tired. Almost got a nap yesterday when the kiddos came home, in their usual parade-like manner, which negated any restful time.

I think all this praise people are heaping on me is going to my head a bit. I've never felt unfulfilled as a stay at home mom; I know I'm very lucky to be able to stay home with our kidlets, and, while I still lack mad housekeeping skills, I'm not too bad at the actual raising kids part. I love my life and have no desire for anything to be different (okay, maybe magically cleaner house and Tony at home more, but you get the drift). But I've noticed that I've been feeling somehow more important lately. Which is not to say I didn't feel adequately important before! But I've been feeling like I'm doing an additionally important thing, I guess. Which is a nice feeling. Not necessary, not something I was seeking out or expecting, still doesn't mean I'm a super-amazing person for all this. But it's nice.

*Yawn*

Oh my goodness, I am tired. Granted that's just as likely a result of our amazing vacation, which we returned from yesterday, as the teeny, tiny baby growing up in here. :) Oh, also the lack of caffeine may be a contributing factor. But for now, I'm enjoying the one hour a week I have the house to myself, sitting on my ass, watching Quantum Leap and chatting to you all.

So, clearly the past week has been HUGE. After our beautiful digital pregnancy test on Friday, we had to follow up with the official beta test on Monday. I was able to make an appointment at the Quest just a few minutes from the condo we were staying at in Garden Grove, and it was a good thing, too, because I got down there Monday morning and the place was packed, and we had California Adventure to be getting to. As I was sitting there, I thought, "This isn't my usual lab; I bet they won't be as good at sticking me." I had no reason to think that, as I'd also got my blood drawn at 2 other places in the past few months, with no issues. But sure enough, that vampire stuck that needle in my arm.and then tried to find the right vein. After the needle was in my arm. Twisting it around. A similar incident when I was 7 led to my initial fear of needles. It was quite a testament to my HypnoBabies "Needles are Okay" track that I just laughed when she asked if it hurt. Big giant DUH. :-p My arm hurt for two days afterward. BUT, it was done, and my nurse called me with results just as we were sitting down to the Aladdin stage show. 197! Woot woot! Great numbers for a singleton pregnancy at this point. Well, great numbers to *indicate* a singleton pregnancy. We won't know for sure exactly how many are in there until the ultrasound in 2 weeks. But I feel confident in guessing one, which is perfect. :-D I just had time to text B&C (if you've been following my journey for a while, these initials are new to you; my IFs are very appreciative of their privacy, and I'll be going back to my old entries and editing my past use of their initials to these new ones) the wonderful news before the curtain rose. They were, of course, thrilled. :-D

Our second beta will be on Monday, just to confirm the health of this little miracle, and then ultrasound the following week. We're still trying to figure out exactly where that's going to take place, because the place that did my monitoring ultrasound doesn't see pregnant patients. Which I definitely am. :-D

While my close friends and family have been aware of my journey, I "came out" as a surro on my Facebook yesterday to overwhelming support. While I didn't expect any negative comments (well, maybe one or two), the responses were a little embarrassing: people calling me amazing and stuff like that. I mean, generally awesome, yes, but amazing because of this? Nah. This is mostly easy. Honestly, at times, I feel like this is a bit selfish on my part. It's an exciting adventure for me that sometimes takes time away from my family. I mean, it's not like we're using my uterus right now anyway.

While I mostly try and keep this blog surro-centered, I have to say, our vacation to Disneyland really was completely magical. It was us, my mom, my sister, her 2.5 year old daughter and her husband. We spent 4 days in Disneyland and California Adventure (Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday), one day at Huntington Beach and one day of me being sick (I think I had a bit of food poisoning; amazingly, none of the children got sick with anything the whole week). We got to enjoy all of the Christmas celebrations on Thurs/Fri and light crowds Mon/Tues. We got to do pretty much everything we all wanted without feeling too ragged. I was so pleased with how everything went, and we all loved it! Hope to edit this entry with a few pictures a little later. :)

I sure am popular these days ;)

Wow, my last post had the most views ever. That makes me think there's some news you guys are waiting for; something you are moderately interested in knowing. That you might want to know that I am, in fact, PREGNANT! At least, that's what 4 pregnancy tests in the past 3 days have indicated (yes, I have a problem).

I'd had a couple of negative tests previously, and I initially thought Thursday's test was negative as well. But, on second look, I saw the slighthest ghost of a line, which apparently only pregnant women could see (the only other person who saw it was my sister, who is 17 weeks along). I desperately want to keep my IFs as informed as possible, but there was nothing to show them yet, and I didn't want to say anything in case it was an evaporation line. So I waited until Friday morning, and, while still light, the line was clearly visible. But lines are so vague, so (on our way to Disneyland), we stopped by Target and picked up a digital test. I peed on that bad boy as soon as we got into California Adventure and got that beautiful "Pregnant" result, so I text that wonderful picture to W & J ASAP, with a Disneyland map in the background, with the caption, "Wishes really do come true in Disneyland! Congratulations!" :-D

Daddies are very happy and excited, and can hardly believe this is real, as they've been working towards this beautiful result for over a year now, so I think they're cautiously optimistic. Beta test is early on Monday morning, before we head back to California Adventure (Disneyland was Thursday and we'll be back on Tuesday; W joked that their son's younger sibling will be able to brag that he/she has been to Disneyland first. :-D). Beta will be our official confirmation of pregnancy.

I'm feeling good. A little bloated and yucky right now, but I think that's more a result of the super delicious bacon burger, garlic fries, cookie dough milkshake and strawberry caramel sundae I shared with my family at Ruby's on the pier in Huntington Beach at lunch. YUM! And ugh. :-D

Check out this awesomeness (dpt=days past transfer):

Stick around for a while, little embies!

We've just gotten home from a whirlwind of an amazing journey. We left home Christmas Day evening to go to Tony's mom's house for Third Christmas, and then the next day to Tony's dad's for Fourth Christmas. It was wonderful spending time with so much family (First and Second Christmas happened with my family), even if our time wasn't as long as we would have liked.

And then, on Thursday, we dropped the kids off with Tony's mom and headed off to SFO. We ended up almost missing our flight because the first two long-term parking lots we tried were full. The kiosk wouldn't let us check in because it was too close to take-off time, and the attendent tried brushing us off, saying that we could just get on another flight. We still had a half hour to get there, and just carry-ons, so Tony talked her into printing our boarding passes, and we hustled off to our gate, with just enough time to pee before boarding.

We made it to LA and our very nice hotel with no incident but an amazing view of the moonrise. After our yummy dinner with W, we headed back to the hotel to rest up for the big day.

I enjoyed a breakfast of pineapple and leftover fajitas and W drove us over to the clinic. They did my blood draw real fast, and we had to wait another 10 minutes or so before we headed back to our room. I did the typical undress from the waist down and then we waited patiently for the real stars of the show, the embryos. There was a brief period of miscommunication while a nurse was explaining the status of the embryos to W and J (on the phone) and they thought that none of the embryos that were thawed were viable, which, of course, was very upsetting. Fortunately, that was not the case. Of the 14 that were thawed, 3 were looking ready to go. Unfortunately, they weren't looking quite as nice as they were hoping, so we had to have an important discussion. The original plan was to implant 1 or 2 great looking little embies, but the 3 they had weren't looking great. They might have looked great if given a little more time, but the embryologist thought the embryos would stand a better chance in my nice, cozy womb. So I got to decide whether we implanted 2 or 3. Nobody is particularly keen on triplets, but I spoke with the nurse, and she said that, with the way these 3 embryos were looking, the likelihood of any pregnancy is approximately 50%, and the chances of a triplet pregnancy are 2% or less. I don't remember the exact number on twins, but Tony thought it was 20%.

So, being the vessel for these little cuties, they allowed me to choose. And I chose 3. I was comfortable with the minute chance of triplets, and I want to give W & J the best chance we can for a successful pregnancy. They've had a long road to hoe on the way to get here, and I'm hoping we can make the rest of it as smooth as possible.

They brought in a regular, baby-sized incubator that housed the embryos, and we all got to take a look at the tiny little embies (one or two were on their way to being blastocysts, if I understood correctly) before the doctor loaded me up. :) He inserted a small catheter into my cervix and delivered the three little pre-babies directly unto the comfy lining of my uterus, where hopefully one of them will get cozy and want to stay a while. :-D

After putting my feet up for about a half hour, they released us back to the hotel. I got my relax on while Tony and W headed down to the local grocery store and stocked up on some of my favorite snacks, including a huge salad with all my favorite toppings. And some Life cereal. :)  Tony and I ate our lunch in bed while catching up on some Battlestar Galactica, and W headed out to the gym and for a massage. He came back to hang out later in the afternoon, and we had a great time talking and getting to know each other some more.

I really enjoyed just hanging out, and catching up on our grown up shows, eating some of my favorite foods, but it was a little tough mentally doing nothing all day. I felt so darn lazy, and felt a little bad Tony and W had to get things for me, but I understand I'm working on growing a baby or two in there, so my efforts were not wasted. :)

This morning W took us to a really gorgeous place for lunch, and then was nice enough to take us to the airport as well. All-in-all, it was a fantastic experience, and we really enjoyed spending time with W (missed J and their son, though), but I really hope it's not one we have to repeat with them. :)

Now we're back to the really hard part: waiting. Our beta, the blood test that will confirm pregnancy is a week from Monday, on the 7th (relatively early, I think), but W & J have given me the go ahead to do home pregnancy tests, and I'm hoping to exercise enough self-control such that I can wait until at least Tuesday, although I won't be surprised if we don't get a positive until Thursday at the very earliest. Oh, this is so exciting!!! :-D

The big day has arrived!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! I can't believe it's really, finally happening. Around 10:30 tomorrow morning we'll be transferring 2 little totsicles into my nice, comfy uterus where at least one of them will get comfortable and take up residence for the next 9ish months. Then we'll head back to the hotel for a day of rest and relaxation.

We had a very nice dinner with B this evening. I enjoyed my last diet coke and Margarita for a good long while. :-)  Tony and I were both very sad that C couldn't join us. They were also going to bring their son, but both him and C got sick and they didn't want to risk exposing me to anything, so B came solo. It was so nice to spend some time with him, and we're looking forward to more of it tomorrow.

So, I've got my lucky transfer panties, and my lucky socks ready, eating my pineapple and hoping to get my hands on some Life cereal for breakfast tomorrow. Please feel free to perform any personal rituals you observe to wish us a successful transfer. :-)

Progesterone is a cruel mistress

I don't know if this is something I selectively minimized during my extensive blog reading, or if it's something other surros tend to gloss over a bit, or if I'm just having a particularly acute experience, but progesterone hurts like a bitch. The actual shot isn't a big deal, but the next day I wake up, and it hurts to sit down. To the point where I gasp sometimes. Tonight is my third night, and my left butt cheek isn't properly healed from the first night, but we have to stick it anyway. To make matters worse, today is an estrogen day, so we also have to give a shot in the side that's still super sore.

I wasn't expecting it to be pleasant, by any means. I had read that it can burn when injected, and that you have to massage and heat the area well afterwards, and that knots and soreness aren't uncommon after a while. But I was expecting the soreness would come in time, not after the first day, and that soreness would be an understatement. And it may sound weird, but I'm also bothered by the idea of it: that my body is so uncomfortable with what's being introduced into. If it was pain at the injection site, that would be different. Of course my skin doesn't like sharp objects piercing it. Hasn't stopped me before. But I do wish my gluts were more receptive to the hormone.

On the very bright side, we had a wonderful, very blessed Christmas, as per usual, and transfer is in just over 2 days! Oh my goodness, cannot believe it! We're at my in-laws for the next 2 nights, so I had to pack today for my transfer, and girls in my surro group are always talking about lucky transfer panties (and other fun, silly stuff) and I was inspired to bring the panties I wore on my first date with my husband. Which is not to say anyone got lucky that night, but that date was the beginning of pretty much the best that ever happened to me, so they've got that going for 'em. ;-)

When I was going through all the other steps, and all the waiting, it seemed like all of the other girls in my surro groups would get pregnant before me, but I'm really excited to have a great group of girls all transferring within 3 weeks of me. At least 5 others, I think, 3 of whom are pregnant already. I love having preggo buddies. :-D

Only approximately 54 days of progesterone to go, give or take a week or two. :-)