It's a good thing surrogacy has taught us patience...

Oops, missed 7 weeks, but more on that later. Important news of the day is that there is no new news. :-/

Today we had a repeat ultrasound in an effort to solve the twinsie mystery. The twinsie mystery stands. I had my ultrasound at the unkind hour of 8:30 (which meant I had to drink 32 ounces of water by 7:30. The contrast of the cold water in my warm belly was unsettling.). The tech did her ultrasound, noting one healthy baby and one "sac of fluid" and then she said she was done. She did all of this through abdominal ultrasound, while last week the tech (at a different office) did both abdominal and trans-vaginal ultrasound, and got the most information on the sacs through the latter. So, after I emptied my grateful bladder, I went back and requested a trans-vaginal ultrasound, for my piece of mind. Thankfully she agreed. Sure enough, she was now able to visualize the other sac, and see the yolk and *possible* fetal pole inside. Measuring smaller than the other sac but bigger than it had last week. Still no heartbeat, though. The tech seemed to be of the opinion that we "shouldn't get our hopes up," but she's seen stranger things happen. Second verse, same as the first. At least I left feeling proud that I insisted on the trans-vaginal ultrasound, even though it didn't tell us anything we didn't learn last week.

At 12:30, I had an appointment to review the ultrasound results with my doctor. Another exercise in frustration, because the radiologist had read the ultrasound wrong and the report he sent to the doctor said both sacs were measuring the same (7.3 weeks), which, I think, made the absence of a heartbeat more final than not being able to find an ultrasound at 6.3 weeks. I insisted the report was incorrect, and the doctor put in a call asking the radiologist to review the ultrasound again. Doctor called me about an hour later to say that I was right (again; who has the fancy degrees around here?), the other sac is smaller, but he still says we're going to call it a singleton pregnancy for now and follow up in two weeks. Ugh, two weeks. In the meantime, I'm still going to blame all of the weight gain on the extra sac.

All in all, it feels like an exhausting, wasted day. Bright side is that we have one little healthy bugger in there, and Dr. says the other sac won't affect the health of that baby, regardless, which was the one piece of happy, useful information I was able to pass along to Daddies today.

I really did intend to write our 7 week stuff here, but I'm so tired. I'm making sushi and spending as much of the rest of the evening on the couch as the kids will allow. One thing of not is that my pants are getting a little uncomfy. :-/ Think high estrogen thoughts for me tomorrow: if we hit 500, we get to cut out our every 3rd day extra shot. Still doing progesterone every night for a while now, but it's a step in the right direction.

Surprise, surprise!

Cutting right to the chase, today we had a surprise ultrasound. Both in the fact that it took place and what it revealed. Turns out we've got two sacs people! After our beta numbers, I was all prepared for one healthy baby. While she's conducting the ultrasound, I saw the first sac, and then she swept around, and I saw the other sac, and I thought "Oh my goodness, twins!" and then I thought, "No, it's probably just the other side of the sac. Ultrasounds are tricky." And then the tech announced "Looks like two of them in there." And I gasped. Oh my goodness.

But it's not for certain that there are 2 viable babies in here yet. The tech was able to find a good strong heartbeat for Baby B, but she was not able to find a heartbeat in the other sac. The other sac was measuring a little smaller, so as far as I understand, that could mean it's just a little bit behind and it's too early to get a heartbeat, or it could mean that sac is not viable and we have one healthy baby and extra sac.

I spoke with our nurse at the IVF clinic this evening, and she said we'll try and get another ultrasound next week to clear this mystery twinsie business up. In the meantime, we're all in flux. I called my IFs and shared the potential news, and they were surprised and cautiously excited. We were all expecting one, and since Daddies have one kiddo already, I think they were looking forward to one more child to complete their family. They aren't opposed to 2, but I think they're a little nervous about the idea of two babies at once, as I imagine most parents of twins are. So, right now, we don't know: do we process this news and get excited about twins, and run the risk of having to mourn a baby that never was, or do we spend the next week or so not processing and just mentally sit on this news? An interesting place to be...

I met my new OB today. Nice guy, very soft spoken, and hooked us up with our surprise ultrasound today. I was supposed to have to go to San Francisco for our ultrasound on Friday, but he was able to give me an order to get it done today, locally, so that was nice.

In other surprise news today, my sister, 19 weeks along, found out the daughter she thought she was having (based on the NT ultrasound at 12 weeks) is, in fact, a son! It was a big day for news via ultrasounds. :-D

The baby(ies) is(are) demanding linguini noodles with spaghetti sauce. Nothing special. Just jarred spaghetti sauce over noodles. I started thinking about it Monday night when mentally planning Tuesday's dinner in bed. My mouth started watering and I almost got out of bed at 11:30 to make it. I found it especially notable because I always prefer angel hair pasta, thin as possible. So to be craving linguini noodles was amusing to me. :)

6 Weeks and everything else

Oh my goodness, I meant to be on here several times earlier in the week to blog, with lots of relevant, important things to say, but I just never made it. Even throughout today, I was interrupted several times. Fever, vomiting, diarrhea (everyone else in the house but me, strangely enough)...it's been an all around fun time around here. :-D

First and foremost, our second beta was on Monday. 3914! Doubling time of about 1.65 days! At first I thought that was extra high, possibly indicating twins. But Google tells me it's a good solid number, probably indicating one healthy Baby. But numbers don't necessarily directly correlate. We won't know for sure until our ultrasound. Which *should* be this Friday. But that's a little iffy right now. Everyone is working hard to find a good place for me to get that done, but apparently it's not as easy as requisitioning the nearest ultrasound machine. We might be getting it done in San Francisco. Possibly.

Or we may be getting it at our new OB's office. Normally, we wouldn't be seeing our OB for the first visit until closer to 10 weeks, but because we've been having such a hard time finding a good local place for the ultrasounds, it's been agreed the earlier I can get hooked up with my local OB, the better. So we've got an appointment with our new OB on Wednesday. If we're super duper lucky, maybe they'll do the ultrasound there and then.

In other surro-related news, I had my worst shot experience ever Friday night. It was a 2-shot day, so estrogen in addition to the progesterone. Shots usually range from "That's it?" to "Ouch! That hurt." Estrogen shots are usually a little easier, in general, because there's less volume, so I, at least, imagine they are quicker. This particular estrogen shot was hellish. From beginning to end, which seemed to take extra forever, it burned like a wicked sumabitch. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. And it continued to hurt afterwards, which is unusual. I had to lay on that side to put pressure on it just to sleep, and it still hurts more that it should, 2 days later, which means this might be the 3rd day of progesterone on the left side, when we usually alternate. My best guess is that we nicked a blood vessel on the way in, because it bled a lot more than usual. And last night's shot was, blessedly, one of the "That's it?" types.

And, finally, we are 6 weeks today! Yay! Kismet and I decided to nickname the Baby, for the time being, "Little Pumpkin" (she needed something to call the Baby) because this Little Pumpkin will be making his/her appearance in the world around the same time as pumpkins start being harvested around here. Anyway, Little Pumpkin's ears, nose and mouth are beginning to develop and blood will start to course through Pumpkin's body. Arm and leg buds are beginning to show and lungs are beginning to develop. This week, Pumpkin will double in size, but is currently the size of a lentil.

I am feeling mostly fine. Still the tiniest bit of nausea in the evening, and generally tired and cranky, but poor sleep thanks to my little man is almost certainly a contributing factor. Otherwise Pumpkin has been very good to me. Oh, I did immensely enjoy a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, which I've never been a big fan of. But breakfast cereal is a big winner for me when I'm pregnant. It was Lucky Charms with Teagun, but those I've always loved. :)

Here's hoping my next entry brings news of our ultrasound!

5 Weeks!

That's right, once we get that positive pregnancy test, we jump right into being pregnant, and today marks 5 weeks along. Baby is currently the approximate size of a sesame seed. Baby is super busy in this next week, developing eyes, tongue, skin and brain, and the heart is beginning to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood. A tiny little sesame seed, pumping blood! :-D How cute!

Despite being a little sesame seed, this Baby is making me feel full all the time, except when I'm starving. Those are the 2 states I have: uncomfortably full and freakin' starving. And the latter half of the days are spent with a very bubbly tummy. If this keeps up, I'll never know when the Baby starts moving because it feels like I've got a whole soccer team in there right now. I only get nauseous, mildly, on occasion, and I'm looking forward to stocking up on grapes to help ease that when necessary. And, I am, of course, tired. So tired. Almost got a nap yesterday when the kiddos came home, in their usual parade-like manner, which negated any restful time.

I think all this praise people are heaping on me is going to my head a bit. I've never felt unfulfilled as a stay at home mom; I know I'm very lucky to be able to stay home with our kidlets, and, while I still lack mad housekeeping skills, I'm not too bad at the actual raising kids part. I love my life and have no desire for anything to be different (okay, maybe magically cleaner house and Tony at home more, but you get the drift). But I've noticed that I've been feeling somehow more important lately. Which is not to say I didn't feel adequately important before! But I've been feeling like I'm doing an additionally important thing, I guess. Which is a nice feeling. Not necessary, not something I was seeking out or expecting, still doesn't mean I'm a super-amazing person for all this. But it's nice.

*Yawn*

Oh my goodness, I am tired. Granted that's just as likely a result of our amazing vacation, which we returned from yesterday, as the teeny, tiny baby growing up in here. :) Oh, also the lack of caffeine may be a contributing factor. But for now, I'm enjoying the one hour a week I have the house to myself, sitting on my ass, watching Quantum Leap and chatting to you all.

So, clearly the past week has been HUGE. After our beautiful digital pregnancy test on Friday, we had to follow up with the official beta test on Monday. I was able to make an appointment at the Quest just a few minutes from the condo we were staying at in Garden Grove, and it was a good thing, too, because I got down there Monday morning and the place was packed, and we had California Adventure to be getting to. As I was sitting there, I thought, "This isn't my usual lab; I bet they won't be as good at sticking me." I had no reason to think that, as I'd also got my blood drawn at 2 other places in the past few months, with no issues. But sure enough, that vampire stuck that needle in my arm.and then tried to find the right vein. After the needle was in my arm. Twisting it around. A similar incident when I was 7 led to my initial fear of needles. It was quite a testament to my HypnoBabies "Needles are Okay" track that I just laughed when she asked if it hurt. Big giant DUH. :-p My arm hurt for two days afterward. BUT, it was done, and my nurse called me with results just as we were sitting down to the Aladdin stage show. 197! Woot woot! Great numbers for a singleton pregnancy at this point. Well, great numbers to *indicate* a singleton pregnancy. We won't know for sure exactly how many are in there until the ultrasound in 2 weeks. But I feel confident in guessing one, which is perfect. :-D I just had time to text B&C (if you've been following my journey for a while, these initials are new to you; my IFs are very appreciative of their privacy, and I'll be going back to my old entries and editing my past use of their initials to these new ones) the wonderful news before the curtain rose. They were, of course, thrilled. :-D

Our second beta will be on Monday, just to confirm the health of this little miracle, and then ultrasound the following week. We're still trying to figure out exactly where that's going to take place, because the place that did my monitoring ultrasound doesn't see pregnant patients. Which I definitely am. :-D

While my close friends and family have been aware of my journey, I "came out" as a surro on my Facebook yesterday to overwhelming support. While I didn't expect any negative comments (well, maybe one or two), the responses were a little embarrassing: people calling me amazing and stuff like that. I mean, generally awesome, yes, but amazing because of this? Nah. This is mostly easy. Honestly, at times, I feel like this is a bit selfish on my part. It's an exciting adventure for me that sometimes takes time away from my family. I mean, it's not like we're using my uterus right now anyway.

While I mostly try and keep this blog surro-centered, I have to say, our vacation to Disneyland really was completely magical. It was us, my mom, my sister, her 2.5 year old daughter and her husband. We spent 4 days in Disneyland and California Adventure (Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday), one day at Huntington Beach and one day of me being sick (I think I had a bit of food poisoning; amazingly, none of the children got sick with anything the whole week). We got to enjoy all of the Christmas celebrations on Thurs/Fri and light crowds Mon/Tues. We got to do pretty much everything we all wanted without feeling too ragged. I was so pleased with how everything went, and we all loved it! Hope to edit this entry with a few pictures a little later. :)

I sure am popular these days ;)

Wow, my last post had the most views ever. That makes me think there's some news you guys are waiting for; something you are moderately interested in knowing. That you might want to know that I am, in fact, PREGNANT! At least, that's what 4 pregnancy tests in the past 3 days have indicated (yes, I have a problem).

I'd had a couple of negative tests previously, and I initially thought Thursday's test was negative as well. But, on second look, I saw the slighthest ghost of a line, which apparently only pregnant women could see (the only other person who saw it was my sister, who is 17 weeks along). I desperately want to keep my IFs as informed as possible, but there was nothing to show them yet, and I didn't want to say anything in case it was an evaporation line. So I waited until Friday morning, and, while still light, the line was clearly visible. But lines are so vague, so (on our way to Disneyland), we stopped by Target and picked up a digital test. I peed on that bad boy as soon as we got into California Adventure and got that beautiful "Pregnant" result, so I text that wonderful picture to W & J ASAP, with a Disneyland map in the background, with the caption, "Wishes really do come true in Disneyland! Congratulations!" :-D

Daddies are very happy and excited, and can hardly believe this is real, as they've been working towards this beautiful result for over a year now, so I think they're cautiously optimistic. Beta test is early on Monday morning, before we head back to California Adventure (Disneyland was Thursday and we'll be back on Tuesday; W joked that their son's younger sibling will be able to brag that he/she has been to Disneyland first. :-D). Beta will be our official confirmation of pregnancy.

I'm feeling good. A little bloated and yucky right now, but I think that's more a result of the super delicious bacon burger, garlic fries, cookie dough milkshake and strawberry caramel sundae I shared with my family at Ruby's on the pier in Huntington Beach at lunch. YUM! And ugh. :-D

Check out this awesomeness (dpt=days past transfer):